This year has been the most difficult in a series of difficult years for me. I’m sure a lot of it comes of being fired last November. The company I worked for merged with a larger company. We were all told at the time that no one would lose their job because of this, but I, at least, knew this was an untruth. I just didn’t know I was one of those who would get the axe.
I worked in accounting, and the field has been a little on the flooded side since the Enron scandal and the demise of Arthur Andersen, LLP. Add in the poor economy, and that pretty much equals no jobs for me. Not anything like what I had been doing, anyway. My sister hired me to work three to four hours a day at her sandwich shop. It’s better than nothing, which is what a lot of people have right now, but the income is a drop in the bucket compared to the bills we have to pay.
Anyway, I don’t think I really realized how much this upset me until this last week. I knew I’d let . . . pretty much everything slide downhill, but I didn’t give much thought to why. Maybe it should have been obvious, but I guess since I didn’t really like my job (I was good enough at it, but it was never more than a job), I didn’t think I could be that upset about losing it!
I have been trying, some days, to claw my way out of The Pit of Despair, but hopefully now that I know I was pinning my self esteem on something ridiculous, I will be more successful.
Anyway. Things were so bad that there were a couple of months where I didn’t even knit. Like I said, I let everything slide. I started knitting again, and now I’m back up to so many projects that I don’t know how I’ll ever get one of them done. Two of them are even designs, and I’m going to start working on a third soon.
Now, I think I’ve run out of steam. I can only spend so much time giving myself a pep talk.